Your tongue = Rudder...

Well, here I am blogging again. I used to write a lot, but kinda lost interest over the years. I'm trying to get back into it, as it's kinda how I think. I'll be writing things down that seemingly came out of nowhere and be thinking "Now where the heck did THAT come from?"

Another thing that tends to produce deep life-altering epiphanies, random ramblings and painful reminders alike is music. I wouldn't always readily admit it but I'm not just about the angst-ridden rock'n'roll, I do have the occasional guilty pleasure band/album/song that I listen to. One of them is this cheesy acoustic song by Brand New called "Play Crack The Sky." It's absolutely awful, but I love it for just that reason. In it, the singer sings:

Your tongue is a rudder,
it steers the whole ship,
sends your words past your lips
or keeps them safe behind your teeth.
But the wrong words will strand you,
come off course while you sleep,
sweep your boat out to sea
or dashed to bits on the reef.

I guess it kinds strikes a chord with me. Our words are powerful, either breathing life into the lives of others... or snatching it away. Negative words are seemingly even more powerful. Ever noticed that you could get ten compliments about something but then one schmuck comes along and says something negative about that same thing and all you can remember is that one off-the-cuff remark? I really like the whole sailing analogy, maybe because I was obsessed with pirates as a kid. (I even wore an eyepatch. I'll have to tell y'all about that sometime =p) It's funny because the rudder is quite possibly one of the smallest parts of a boat, and yet, it is quite possibly the most important, most powerful part. To compare our tongues to it is a very apt comparison, because an unchecked tongue will steer you all over the place, even places you don't necessarily want to go. You know how I said earlier that I'll be writing stuff and say to myself "Where did that come from?"... well, I can find myself wondering the same thing when I say stuff too. And not in a good way, either. I crash my ship into the reefs like a pirate who just had a wee bit too much rum...

I've always prided myself on being a "cool" Christian. I love Jesus, but I also love sports, music, movies, etc etc. I think it's important not to be some aloof, head-in-the-clouds Christian who is totally out of touch with the world and what's going on. I guess it's the classic struggle to be "in" the world but not "of" the world. It's almost a bit like we're secret agents sometimes. ;) Anyways, one of my main struggles is my lovely sense of humor. I am beyond sarcastic at times, and like so many other personality traits, it's charming... to a point. It's tricky because some people can handle more ribbing than others. But just because someone can handle it doesn't make it the right thing to do.

When George talked about being a Christian in the world at church yesterday, I thought about the very same thing. Just how often I can use my sarcasm or humor to push people away. I tend to keep a respectful distance from a lot of people in my life, even people who I legitimately care about. I also can use it to tear people down. But the most distressing thing of all is sometimes I have no idea why I say what I do. It seems like I do it just because I can!

I'm not too sure where to go from here, blog-wise. I guess I've sorta hit a wall. The fact of the matter is that I know what I have to do, and that it's really just a matter of going out and doing it. But we all know that changing oneself is usually easier said than done. I definitely believe it's possible, because there's a night and day difference between me and myself, say, five or ten years ago. But it most definitely is easier said than done. Hopefully you guys got a nugget or two out of this post, and if nothing else, at the very least, have a better understanding of just how that hamster wheel inside my noggin works. Cheerio!